How my children will be 2.5 years apart by doing nothing

I feel like I need to make a disclaimer - I'm in no way, shape, or form saying you must do this to be a good mother, Christian, what have you. I'm posting this because I think its amazing and a lot of people are unaware that its even possible (or that by just breastfeeding you can't get pregnant). I also feel like some may think we purposely spaced our babies far apart, but we basically had nothing to do with it. ;-)

So, if you have any desire to not use contraception (and I advise against it) this is an awesome, completely God-designed way to space your babies.

So, Faith and new baby will be 2.5 years apart. Spaced only by breastfeeding. God is amazing and designed our bodies so perfectly :). I will explain...

Prolactin is a hormone produced during breastfeeding, it also suppresses ovulation. The production of this hormone is affected by frequency of suckling, proximity to your baby, and being well rested. So, when someone mothers in a "primal" way, typical of "attachment parenting", using only what God gave them - they will have an absence of ovulation for 14 months on average. God didn't send our newborns with pacifiers, formula, bottles, cribs, infant car seats used outside of the car (I know all of these things can have there place or are needed in certain families and situations). Anyway, surprise - you don't NEED any of it! If you would like natural spacing between your children this is a sort of "checklist", I'll give reasons for each being necessary.

1. No bottles, pacifiers, formula - obviously this would affect prolactin levels. All suckling is to be done at the breast. Pumping does not have the same effect. I have a friend who just does not understand that pacifiers have an impact, but breastfeeding is so much more than nourishment, its comfort too (which is when the pacifier comes in for many moms)
2. Co-sleeping. This encourages nighttime feedings and prolactin levels are said to be highest/most affected during the night. Also just being close to your baby raises levels! So if you decide to nightwean your 2 month old, expect your cycle to return quickly! And, most babies sleep better when they are near mom anyway. This also allows mom more sleep since she doesn't have to wake up for night feedings... YAY!
3. Baby sets schedule. No schedules for nursing, baby determines length and time of feeding. I think this one is pretty obvious - a lot less nursing if you only nurse every 3 hours for 20 minutes. What amazes me most is that God made it so that the most common sense, easiest, simplest way is what will space your babies apart. You don't need a book to tell you when the next feeding will be. I LOVE simplicity and not having to think and, postponed fertility = BONUS! :)
4. No solids before 6 months. And slowly introduce them after that. I've read that the gut sometimes doesn't fully close until 8 months. And no medical association recommends solids at 4-6 months anymore for breastfed babies, they all say 6 months. And the total intake remains the same, so if they eat 1 oz of food, that is replacing 1 oz of breastmilk. Solids should only be for fun for the first year - you don't need to feed your baby 3 meals a day of solids.
5. no separation/delaying feedings. I understand sometimes moms have to work, and unless they have a situation where they can bring their baby with them - this wouldn't work. It really is easy to bring baby with you wherever you're going though, throw them in a sling/baby carrier and you're good to go!
6. Nap. Taking a daily nap with your baby. The book "Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing" says this could be a big factor in whether or not you experience delayed fertility. I think it says a nap of about 30 minutes. Honestly, I hate this one. I hardly ever took a nap with Faith, but I still held her and sat on the couch with the laptop for the majority of her naps until she was almost 1. I felt completely rested because I would sleep 10 solid hours every night :). Anyway, if you want more info on why napping affects you, you can buy the book used for pretty cheap, she goes into a lot of detail on how important the nap is for some women, but I'm a rebel ;-) haha. Also, the other areas I listed were just common sense for us, we were doing it anyway before I knew it would delay fertility, maybe this one would be easier if we lived in a culture where "siestas" are the norm. I can definitely see this one being difficult if you have a lot of kids already.
7. Comfort Nurse. Nutrition is only part of nursing - comfort is such a huge part, letting your baby continue to suckle after its asleep, allowing them to nurse when they are upset but not necessarily hungry, nursing to sleep, nursing in the middle of the night (this is also for nutrition for most babies for a long long time). In essence - the dreaded "human pacifier". *gasp* could there be anything worse?! (sense the sarcasm?)

Now, I need to say that there is a small percentage that will get there cycles back before 6 months no matter what. There are also women who get such a long break that they have to completely wean to get pregnant. But average is 14 months - I got 17 months (probably due to the amount Faith nurses at night and her not eating much food) and it took another 6 months after that due to my luteal phase issues (which also could have been attributed to breastfeeding). One of my friends was concerned and thought something was wrong with me since I hadn't gotten my period back, but we weren't meant to have years and years of periods - its only recent generations where that has been the norm, since women have stopped having large families. My sister's doctor even told her that its not good for your body to have so many periods (though that was to convince her to take birth control pills for health issues since they will eventually stop/slow your periods. I'm pretty sure its better to have years of periods than to take chemicals & hormones for years to stop them lol).

I also think its quite funny that the opponents to mothering this way, call their way "God's Way". Really? Why? God wanted us to use clocks and schedules and separate sleeping rooms and be afraid of holding our babies too much? hmm it doesn't say that in the Bible, so should we not assume whatever is most natural is how God designed it to work best? and funny that it works out that way too (in regards to fertility, milk production, infant growth, attachment, etc). I just can't imagine Mary saying "well, baby Jesus, its not yet 6 according to the sun dial. Its still your naptime, no milkies for you.". I don't know... just doesn't sound like her to me. Or can you imagine Jesus not wanting to spoil the children by holding them too much? Why do we use the phrase "spoiling/spoiled" for children anyway?? Food spoils when its left alone, forgotten, and untouched. :(

Here is a lot more info if anyone is interested.

Hospital vs. Homebirth

I CAN NOT make a decision. So someone tell me what you think I should do because I'm completely unreliable. Mike is leaving the decision up to me, but I know he hopes I'll pick hospital again (he really liked the food and it being free)

homebirth: I found a good midwife here that would only be $1200 (which is half her normal fee) if I have prenatals up until 28 weeks at the base hospital (yuck). I'm not sure how comfortable I feel about having a homebirth, I know midwives are trained to handle all sorts of "variations of normal" and carry oxygen and know CPR and have things for hemorrhage. and Faith had shoulder dystocia and that scares the crap out of me, because thats like 5 minutes or your baby dies or has severe brain damage (granted it would probably be handled in a better way than it was in the hospital). We are also 25 minutes from the hospital (driving speed limit). Also not keen on having prenatals on base for that long, having to walk around sick people, nurses being mad at me for declining flu shot, tests, etc. They also can't handle ANYTHING there, they thought I could be dehydrated when I had morning sickness with Faith so I had to drive 45 min to the Army hospital just to pee in a cup, them to tell me I'm fine and they gave me a script for anti-nauseau meds. stupid. Just generally not sure if I even WANT a homebirth, I feel like I *should* want it, and that I'm "uneducated" (as some might say...) for not wanting one.

The other thing that turns me off to homebirth is the hostility towards hospital birth I feel from some people in the HB community, many times its warranted but other times its just ignorance! for instance I interviewed a midwife and she was shocked that I didn't receive an episiotomy, epidural or pitocin... I don't know it seemed kind of easy to avoid those things but maybe thats just because I went in fully educated, prepared and carefully chose my care provider. And I just read on the internet, someone said that if you care about what happens to your baby after birth then you should choose homebirth because you can't decline hep b, vit k or eye ointment in the hospital. ummm yes you can! ugh, now that is ignorant. You might have to fight for it (I didn't have to), but you can decline them.

OB at hospital: I would use a CNM again but their are none anymore at the hospital Faith was born at. :( So I found this awesome sounding OB, his website mentions honoring birth plans, lowering c-section risks, and supporting natural birth. Just general awesomeness to read on an OB website. And he's in a solo-practice, meaning he will deliver your baby not whoever is on call. I interviewed him and one of the first things he says, after I told him there aren't any CNMs anymore at the specific hospital he says "I can be a midwife!" and went on to say how I could have a doula, Faith can stay the night in the hospital with us if we want, he has never routinely done episiotomies (the last one he did the woman requested it!) and couldn't even give me a statistic for the rate, his c-section rate is 15-18% but he is not happy with it being that high, but because women demand its hard to bring it down. I don't have to have the glucose tolerance test if I don't have any other symptoms/risk factors, don't have to have antibiotics during labor if I'm gbs+, he prefers delayed cord clamping, was totally supportive of birthing in any position.. he said "How do I know what's comfortable?" hahaha. He will deliver breech and twins vaginally, I asked him how often he sees moms deliver without pain meds or augmentation like pitocin he said "all the time, just this morning in fact!" Honestly he seemed more open-minded than the midwife I planned on using at the hospital. He said "I don't know what the right answer is, I just give you the information so you can make your own informed decision". Buuuuutttt, I feel like he could just be answering all my questions right, putting on a show, ya know. I'd hope not, but I can't help but think that - I'm a total skeptic. He also said I could probably birth in the tub (though he didn't act super confident in his answer), which i know is against hospital policy and I'm pretty sure that wouldn't happen, so I don't know if he just doesn't know what he's talking about w/regards to the waterbirth thing or if he's just trying to please me. And its a man and that is kind of weird to me.

There is one CNM that delivers at a different hospital, I've heard they aren't as "baby friendly" and that the hospital Faith was born at is the best in town to give birth at... so, idk. I've heard really good things about the CNM though, haven't interviewed her yet. It's slightly further away and a friend told me she would be out of town a week before my due date, so, I really don't know. I know I should just interview her though, SO tired of interviews though!

If I went the hospital route again, I would have a doula and a birth photographer this time because I'm so disappointed that I have no pictures from Faith's birth. I didn't have a doula for Faith's birth but luckily my MW ended up being there the entire labor and never left my side so she was an awesome doula, but I feel like with an OB they aren't necessarily going to be there the whole labor and I feel like I'll need extra back up to advocate for me. But if we did homebirth I wouldn't need a doula but I wouldn't be able to afford the photographer or anything else like a chiropractor!

seriously sometimes I wish I didn't know or think so much.

PREGNANT!!!

I'm so so so so so excited! After 6 months of trying and having luteal phases of 6-7 days, 2 months of taking a b-complex, and 1 month of Vitex - I'm pregnant! As I write this, I'm 3weeks and 5 days. lol its so early! I won't be posting this until at least 6 weeks because we will be telling my family first when we go visit in a few weeks. I took a test yesterday and there was a very very very very faint line, so faint I thought for sure I was imagining it. Then I took a more sensitive test this morning and sure enough, definitely two lines! Michael had no idea, I mean he knew we were trying to get pregnant but he didn't think it was even possible based on the last 6 months, so today when I put Faith in the t-shirt *I* wore when my little sister was born that says "I'm the big sister" and told her "go show dada" he was confused and all "why would you put her in that? we can't have a baby, you're barren" uh, no honey... I'm pregnant! AHH YAY, I just can't believe it! Faith and baby brother/sister will be 32 months apart (2 years and 7 months). I'm due on/around Dec. 29. I'm SO excited to pick out names - its my favorite! I wonder how much morning sickness I'll have this time - I had it so awful last time, but I think that was due to the progesterone cream... so we'll see. I'm planning on doing some freezer cooking in the next week or two for a ton of meals just in case I'm incapacitated - last time it was ramen and boxed quick meals, I definitely want to avoid that this time around. hmmm and I need to get some prenatals.

The timing is crazy - when I found out I was pregnant with Faith we went to visit my parents around the same time, early in the pregnancy, and were able to tell them in person, like this time! And we just went to the zoo the other day, the last time we went to the local zoo was when I had just found out I was preg with Faith! So I realized that at the zoo and thought I must be pregnant this time!

Update: I'm 6 weeks now... still no morning sickness! I'm a little queasy in the morning but after I eat its ok. The past few days its been kind of painful when Faith latches on, but only lasts a few seconds. I also found the most amazing OB, and might interview a CNM when we get home too. The CNM that delivered Faith isn't delivering babies anymore and neither is the other CNM in her office that I was going to use. Such a good thing because I wouldn't have found this amazing OB and I think he's better :)

Raw Milk!

I get to pick up my first gallon of raw milk this week! I've been on the wait list for 2 months. I'm so excited to make butter & yogurt & cheese! I don't know how long we will keep it up for, I guess it depends how much we like it. I've been buying low temp pasteurized/nonhomogenized organic milk for $7/gallon (did you know almost all organic milk is ultra-pasteurized, thats worse than they do for non-organic! I've heard it called "ultra-dead" lol), but there is almost no cream AND it starts tasting weird 4 days after you open it so we end up throwing part of it out some weeks. the raw milk is $11/gallon (if I didn't have to pay for a delivery charge it would be less than $9)... ugh! it kills me!

speaking of milk...

I was pumping for about 5 weeks for a friend that adopted a baby, I've stopped now because pumping and nursing while trying to get pregnant doesn't help, plus that 4oz bottle was just an amazing day it was usually more like 2 oz max. But this organization is amazing : Human Milk for Human Babies if you have extra breastmilk, you should really consider finding your local group and donating to a mom unable to breastfeed!

Official

Yay! As of today... I know I said on pentecost, but it got moved up and they gave us like 2 weeks notice. typical. So I was confirmed and had my first holy communion :-)

AND get this: the Saint I chose, St. Gianna, I picked her because she sacrificed her life for that of her unborn child (and most saints were nuns and I find it harder to relate to them)... I've been reading her biography: she had homebirths for 3 of her 4 children IN THE '50s "it is good for children to be born at home within the family", she "nursed as long as her milk let her" and "I can't conceive of a mother slapping a child". :-D amazing.

now just some new pictures.

My baby will be 2 in just a little over a month! *tear* she's so big! some of her favorite phrases are "I do" when you ask her if she wants something, "oh no its stuck!", she loves pointing out Jesus "sheshus!". awww she is so precious to me.

New AAP car seat guidelines

Yay! Keep 'em rear-facing to the height and weight limits of the seat or at least 2.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42186101/ns/today-today_news/

"One-year-olds are five times less likely to be injured in a crash if they are in a rear-facing car seat than a forward-facing seat, according to a 2007 analysis of five years of U.S. crash data. Put another way, an estimated 1,000 children injured in forward-facing seats over 15 years might not have been hurt if they had been in a car seat facing the back, said Dr. Dennis Durbin, lead author of the recommendations and a pediatric emergency physician at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia."

http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/117755/aaps_new_car_seat_guidelines

"It was believed that 1 year and 20 pounds was the benchmark for forward facing babies in car seats, despite evidence elsewhere that that was still dangerously early. Now, hopefully, with new guidelines, parents and doctors can get on board and spread the word about the safest practices for children. Here are the details.

New Rear-Facing Recommendation: Parents are to keep children rear-facing until 2 years old, or until they reach the maximum height and weight for the seat as noted in the manual.

Safe Kids agrees. Two years is a goal easily met, considering even some of the lowest cost seats now rear-face until 40 pounds. When your baby outgrows their infant carrier, that is when you buy a convertible seat that rear faces longer, not a forward-facing seat."

Potty & my dream dog!

17 months old

3 weeks old

hehe I just love that newborn picture! I'm really glad we decided to EC... even if it means its made being 100% potty trained harder - since she's been 50% potty trained her whole life, there isn't that excitement about getting a new potty or going in the potty... she's just "meh, old hat" about it. That position she's in in the newborn picture is still her preferred way of pottying.... so I've been bribing with chocolate chips to get her to use her potty seat.

And, since I have nothing to do on the internet anymore - I've been looking up dog breeds for like 2 days straight and found the perfect one for us - we have very limited choices because we need a very light to non-shedding dog and one that is good with small children and doesn't require tons of grooming (no poodles) and is easily trainable/good temperament, and I just like bigger dogs.... enter bergamasco!!

Unfortunately it seems to be a very rare breed, there are only like 5 breeders in the U.S., one of which requires you to go to NY to pick up your pup so they can meet you and another isn't sure if she's even going to have another litter. Just my luck! I don't even want a puppy - at all! I want an adult dog that is already trained and spayed/neutered and already has all his puppy shots, etc, I have no desire for a puppy but seriously, finding an adult of this dog seems impossible (heck, finding a puppy seems impossible). *sigh* how adorable are those dreads?! ;-)