Sunday, May 30, 2010

Growing Kids GODS Way? Are you sure?

a couple highlights from this very indepth article on the Cultic Characteristics of Growing Families International/Ezzos. I strongly encourage reading the whole article if you are involved/interested in this "ministry"/program. And now, from the people that brought you Babywise!


Note that the indispensable and exclusive role of the blood of Christ in removing the guilt of sin (Heb. 9:14, 22; 1 John 1:7) is not mentioned. Neither are parents instructed to teach their children that their guilty consciences can be absolved only by accepting Jesus as their Savior and then regularly confessing their sins to God (1 John 1:9). Surely the Ezzos do not believe chastisement is the price paid to remove the guilt of a child’s sin in the sight of God. It seems more than coincidental, however, that they failed to qualify such a potentially misleading assertion.



"repeatedly cited Matthew 27:46 — ‘…My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ — in support of their teaching that mothers should refuse to attend crying infants who have already been fed, changed, and had their basic needs met. ‘Praise God,’ writes Gary Ezzo on page 122 ofPreparation for Parenting, ‘that the Father did not intervene when His son cried out on the cross.’ We see no way to make such an application of this verse without completely disregarding its original context and purpose."30 they teach that maternal instinct is an unbiblical concept and therefore imply mothers should ignore any intuitive alarms they may hear when following the GFI program (e.g., to pick up their crying babies when the program would tell them to let the babies cry).


While GFI takes Scripture out of context to prove that some of its teachings are from God, it does not shy away from according a similar divine status to other teachings that clearly have no biblical support whatsoever. On the one hand, GFI materials acknowledge that "God is silent on the topic of infant feeding"38 and that "the Bible is not specific" on how to "produce a morally responsible child."39 On the other hand, their infant care book is subtitled "God’s Order for your Baby’s Day" and their child-rearing book is titled "Growing Kids God’s Way." Contrary views — even those advanced by Christians — are labeled non-Christian.40 The overriding tone of the books is dogmatic and authoritative. They are full of feeding, sleeping, and playtime schedules and rules and "non-negotiable mandates"41 for parents to follow. Issues that the Bible is silent on and that Christians generally consider matters of convenience or personal or cultural preference become matters of Christian morality: how well a child sleeps is discussed in terms of the parents’ spirituality;42 directing a pretoddler’s behavior in the high chair is called "moral training";43 an appendix in Growing Kids God’s Way teaches that a child’s behavior at the table is "an extension of Christian character."44

the Ezzos have said there is "no basis"49 for the concerns and have dismissed them as "unsubstantiated hearsay."50 The infant program they developed warns parents of the dangers of demand feeding,51 the infant feeding practice strongly recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics.52 GFI describes the research supporting putting infants to sleep on their backs as "not conclusive, and the method of gathering supportive data questionable"53 — despite the fact there has been no less than a 30 percent drop in the number of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) deaths in the United States since the "Back to Sleep" campaign began.54

The Ezzos describe themselves as "professionals"55 and have said they are replacing others as the "authority" on child-rearing.56 Yet they lack much of the background experience and education found in many of the very critics they are dismissing.57 They have claimed to have a "network" of "hundreds of pediatricians" who provide them with "expert medical advice,"58 but they have refused to provide the list when asked.59 There is not one Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant on staff, though the materials give explicit breast-feeding instruction. These paradoxes may exist partly because of the Ezzos’ apparent lack of any true accountability to either church elders or a board of directors60 and also because they actively discourage questioning both inside and outside the GFI system.

the book also instructs that even a two-week-old baby who falls asleep during the middle of a feeding and wakes up hungry two hours later should not be fed: "Babies learn very quickly the laws of natural consequences. If he does not eat at one feeding, then make him wait until the next one….Do not feed him between routine mealtimes."101 Lactation experts disagree. Pediatrician Marianne Neifert, author of the "Dr. Mom" parenting books, says, "Some babies…could handle the schedule. But a small baby with a mother who’s got a marginal milk supply.…Those babies could be put in jeopardy on a schedule."102 Lactation experts cite research explaining why such a schedule works for some babies, but not for others.103

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Things I would do differently

... at Faith's birth that I never thought of.

Ask what my care provider does in cases of emergency (hemorrhaging, shoulder dystocia, etc). I of course asked all the usual - csection rates, episiotomy, induction, cord around neck etc etc. But I neglected to ask about certain things that might come up during labor and it kind of bit me in the butt as I wasn't thrilled with the way a couple things were handled.

Insist on skin to skin for a longer period of time. Sure, we had like 20 or 30 minutes before she was weighed & measured and swaddled (and we probably only had that since I was totally naked, otherwise I would have had a gown on). But, after my SIL had issues with her newest baby not latching at all and after doing some research for her- turns out skin to skin is MIGHTY important for breastfeeding.

Don't shower at the hospital... worst shower of my life.

Have someone take pictures... we have no labor pictures and I'm so sad.

I might not take evening primrose oil, even though I think it did help in some aspects- my sister said it could cause hemorrhaging.

Insist on delivering placenta while cord still intact - I wasn't really clear on this and decided to just have a see what happens attitude, and since I was hemorrhaging they cut it early... they did ask me first though. But who is thinking clearly the second after your baby is born?

I don't think we will find out the sex next time. yay!

Overall I was VERY pleased with my hospital experience. The nurse I had was great and never once asked me if I wanted pain meds. And my midwife was there with me the whole time. Everyone was very chill (except when her shoulders got stuck). After she was born they pretty much left us alone (except one nurse kept telling me I wanted tylenol... I didn't - I wasn't in pain. No wonder though, they charge $3/pill!). I really reallly loved the "room service" and not having to cook or do dishes or rely on the kindness of others to bring us a hot meal. In fact- thats one of my motivating factors to go back next time lol. And I've heard the other midwife that also delivers there does "under the table waterbirths"- you aren't supposed to, but she says she won't force you out of the tub lol. And my MW was totally fine with delivering Faith on the toilet lol (never did because I found a more comfortable position, though it wasn't the best for gravity or stuck shoulders). No one pressured us to do any routine newborn things (baths, eye ointment, hepb, etc). I did feel pressure for the vit.k since she had some bruising but we just had to sign something for it.

But, what about next time? Then what will we do with Faith? I don't think they allow young siblings at birth in the hospital. There is a free standing birth center an hour away that our insurance pays for... but an hour away. And homebirth of course would always be my first choice but free or $2000... free... $2000? Its not even that we can't afford $2000... but its FREE at the hospital. Our insurance does pay for homebirth with a CNM but all the ones here are CPM or RM. I did call someone who said our insurance covered her fees, but only because they had her listed as CNM (she was a cpm) and they have a database online of their "preferred providers" she said that she wasn't listed on that for some strange reason and she required payment up front and she would reimburse you when/if the insurance paid her (which is standard). Shady much?

Can't I just pay a midwife like $200 to show up last minute in case anything goes awry... not even to deliver the baby- Michael could do that. lol ;-)

I don't even know why I'm blogging about this. Looking forward to next time I suppose. Michael has been saying Faith needs a baby brother/sister for about 8 months now lol. Still no period though woooohoo 21 months so far.


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

some links on spanking

Is Spanking Biblical? This is probably the best article I have read! So much information!

And this awesome book is online again!! Samuel Martin "Thy Rod and Thy Staff"

Kevin Swanson (who is NOT anti-spanking) speaks out against the dangers of Michael and Debi Pearl (though they aren't mentioned by name) . This REALLY surprised me! I'm so glad to hear someone in the homeschool community taking a stand!

Please, I don't want to debate with anyone or make anyone feel judged for their choices.