Monday, May 16, 2011

Hospital vs. Homebirth

I CAN NOT make a decision. So someone tell me what you think I should do because I'm completely unreliable. Mike is leaving the decision up to me, but I know he hopes I'll pick hospital again (he really liked the food and it being free)

homebirth: I found a good midwife here that would only be $1200 (which is half her normal fee) if I have prenatals up until 28 weeks at the base hospital (yuck). I'm not sure how comfortable I feel about having a homebirth, I know midwives are trained to handle all sorts of "variations of normal" and carry oxygen and know CPR and have things for hemorrhage. and Faith had shoulder dystocia and that scares the crap out of me, because thats like 5 minutes or your baby dies or has severe brain damage (granted it would probably be handled in a better way than it was in the hospital). We are also 25 minutes from the hospital (driving speed limit). Also not keen on having prenatals on base for that long, having to walk around sick people, nurses being mad at me for declining flu shot, tests, etc. They also can't handle ANYTHING there, they thought I could be dehydrated when I had morning sickness with Faith so I had to drive 45 min to the Army hospital just to pee in a cup, them to tell me I'm fine and they gave me a script for anti-nauseau meds. stupid. Just generally not sure if I even WANT a homebirth, I feel like I *should* want it, and that I'm "uneducated" (as some might say...) for not wanting one.

The other thing that turns me off to homebirth is the hostility towards hospital birth I feel from some people in the HB community, many times its warranted but other times its just ignorance! for instance I interviewed a midwife and she was shocked that I didn't receive an episiotomy, epidural or pitocin... I don't know it seemed kind of easy to avoid those things but maybe thats just because I went in fully educated, prepared and carefully chose my care provider. And I just read on the internet, someone said that if you care about what happens to your baby after birth then you should choose homebirth because you can't decline hep b, vit k or eye ointment in the hospital. ummm yes you can! ugh, now that is ignorant. You might have to fight for it (I didn't have to), but you can decline them.

OB at hospital: I would use a CNM again but their are none anymore at the hospital Faith was born at. :( So I found this awesome sounding OB, his website mentions honoring birth plans, lowering c-section risks, and supporting natural birth. Just general awesomeness to read on an OB website. And he's in a solo-practice, meaning he will deliver your baby not whoever is on call. I interviewed him and one of the first things he says, after I told him there aren't any CNMs anymore at the specific hospital he says "I can be a midwife!" and went on to say how I could have a doula, Faith can stay the night in the hospital with us if we want, he has never routinely done episiotomies (the last one he did the woman requested it!) and couldn't even give me a statistic for the rate, his c-section rate is 15-18% but he is not happy with it being that high, but because women demand its hard to bring it down. I don't have to have the glucose tolerance test if I don't have any other symptoms/risk factors, don't have to have antibiotics during labor if I'm gbs+, he prefers delayed cord clamping, was totally supportive of birthing in any position.. he said "How do I know what's comfortable?" hahaha. He will deliver breech and twins vaginally, I asked him how often he sees moms deliver without pain meds or augmentation like pitocin he said "all the time, just this morning in fact!" Honestly he seemed more open-minded than the midwife I planned on using at the hospital. He said "I don't know what the right answer is, I just give you the information so you can make your own informed decision". Buuuuutttt, I feel like he could just be answering all my questions right, putting on a show, ya know. I'd hope not, but I can't help but think that - I'm a total skeptic. He also said I could probably birth in the tub (though he didn't act super confident in his answer), which i know is against hospital policy and I'm pretty sure that wouldn't happen, so I don't know if he just doesn't know what he's talking about w/regards to the waterbirth thing or if he's just trying to please me. And its a man and that is kind of weird to me.

There is one CNM that delivers at a different hospital, I've heard they aren't as "baby friendly" and that the hospital Faith was born at is the best in town to give birth at... so, idk. I've heard really good things about the CNM though, haven't interviewed her yet. It's slightly further away and a friend told me she would be out of town a week before my due date, so, I really don't know. I know I should just interview her though, SO tired of interviews though!

If I went the hospital route again, I would have a doula and a birth photographer this time because I'm so disappointed that I have no pictures from Faith's birth. I didn't have a doula for Faith's birth but luckily my MW ended up being there the entire labor and never left my side so she was an awesome doula, but I feel like with an OB they aren't necessarily going to be there the whole labor and I feel like I'll need extra back up to advocate for me. But if we did homebirth I wouldn't need a doula but I wouldn't be able to afford the photographer or anything else like a chiropractor!

seriously sometimes I wish I didn't know or think so much.

6 comments:

The Carr Family said...

It sounds like you're most comfortable going with the OB and a hospital birth. If that's what you feel most comfortable with, then go for it! Just do note, that yes, even though you can refuse anything the hospital says is "required" like Hep B and Vit K or a bath, no bottles etc, and such, I have heard NUMEROUS stories of rogue nurses and whatnot either completely disregarding the mother's wishes and doing what THEY felt was best for the baby, or just a sheer lack of communication has resulted in babies getting thigns the mother neve wanted. So, you do have to stay on your feet and be willing to fight and stay aware... if it were me, I'd just make sure Michael was fully informed on what you both want/don't want and how to fight for it, and then to NEVER leave the baby's side so he can watch everything they may want to do with it. If you do that, you'll probably be good to go. But I will tell you this.... there's nothing like getting to sleep quietly in your own bed and take a shower in your own shower after the birth. ;-) And the hospital distance thing, a good midwife would know in PLENTY of time whether or not a transfer was needed, and regardless of how close the hospital is, if it were a REAL emergency, they'd call an ambulance. So... if that's a major hang-up I wouldn't let it be. But, again... I think with the right advocating (and a good doula would be excellent at helping with that) you'd do fine in a hospital.

kaitlin.elizabeth11 said...

I would honestly go with a hospital birth. After working OB & seeing some of the things that I saw from home births, I (personally) would feel more comfortable. Hospitals are better equipped if anything should happen.

Tonya said...

That OB sounds awesome! I've never had any issues with refusing shots or ointments w/ my hospital births. We just always have Eric or I with the babies. Also, remember you can always change your mind! You don't have to make a decision TODAY about what is going to happen at the end of this pregnancy. I changed OB's w/ my FIRST at 35 weeks.

Rebecca said...

First off....so happy for you that you're pregnant again!!!!!! :D Praise the Lord!

2nd off...what a BLESSING it is, to live in a day and age where we are full to the brim and OVERFLOWING in abundance, knowledge, and FREEDOM to choose down to the details, even the likes of birthing plans....Praise the Lord-loL! Seriously :)

3rd...the LORD your God, has you and your precious baby in His hands, whether that be a hospital birth OR a home birth. Go where the Lord leads you...and girlfriend...from christian sister to christian sister....have total FREEDOM and PEACE in your decision. Break off the chains of legalism, religion, and judgement by man, and just ENJOY the ride the Lord has set before you.

God Bless you, sister!

Andrea said...

I just came over from the conversation about baby carriers on Charlotte's blog! Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!
I am just about 20 weeks along with baby #5, I totally hear you on what a hard decision it is to go with a hospital birth or a homebirth!
I've had 4 hospital births (none of which I was impressed with, and including a non-essential cesarean with my first), so this time around I'm having a homebirth.
I think what you said though about being thoroughly educated is the key. If you educate yourself well and your husband is prepared to advocate for you and the baby, then you are prepared to deal with the risks and advantages that go along with either choice.
I was thinking about your comments about how anti-hospital homebirthers are...I think so much of this stems from bad experiences and fear. Something could go wrong anywhere, including the hospital - and it happens all the time there (being in a hospital does not prevent maternal or infant death or injury, which is a beef I take up with hospital-only types). As parents we have to make so many important decisions, the best thing is to be informed and be able to live with the choices we make - it sounds like you are already there and you should trust your maternal intuition! ;-)
(Have you read any books by Ina May Gaskin? I have found her to be SO helpful, even before I was ready to have my babies at home!)

Anonymous said...

Hi! I found your blog, strangely, by clicking your name on Facebook since we have 3 mutual friends. :-) And then I realized that we have met & talked at LLL & at a babywearing meetup at Rachel's house. Anyway, congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm fascinated by this OB that you're talking about. Sounds like a great option for our next baby! I'm pretty sure I want a homebirth next, but who knows what I'll think then?