Friday, June 10, 2011

How my children will be 2.5 years apart by doing nothing

I feel like I need to make a disclaimer - I'm in no way, shape, or form saying you must do this to be a good mother, Christian, what have you. I'm posting this because I think its amazing and a lot of people are unaware that its even possible (or that by just breastfeeding you can't get pregnant). I also feel like some may think we purposely spaced our babies far apart, but we basically had nothing to do with it. ;-)

So, if you have any desire to not use contraception (and I advise against it) this is an awesome, completely God-designed way to space your babies.

So, Faith and new baby will be 2.5 years apart. Spaced only by breastfeeding. God is amazing and designed our bodies so perfectly :). I will explain...

Prolactin is a hormone produced during breastfeeding, it also suppresses ovulation. The production of this hormone is affected by frequency of suckling, proximity to your baby, and being well rested. So, when someone mothers in a "primal" way, typical of "attachment parenting", using only what God gave them - they will have an absence of ovulation for 14 months on average. God didn't send our newborns with pacifiers, formula, bottles, cribs, infant car seats used outside of the car (I know all of these things can have there place or are needed in certain families and situations). Anyway, surprise - you don't NEED any of it! If you would like natural spacing between your children this is a sort of "checklist", I'll give reasons for each being necessary.
  1. No bottles, pacifiers, formula - obviously this would affect prolactin levels. All suckling is to be done at the breast. Pumping does not have the same effect. I have a friend who just does not understand that pacifiers have an impact, but breastfeeding is so much more than nourishment, its comfort too (which is when the pacifier comes in for many moms)
  2. Co-sleeping. This encourages nighttime feedings and prolactin levels are said to be highest/most affected during the night. Also just being close to your baby raises levels! So if you decide to nightwean your 2 month old, expect your cycle to return quickly! And, most babies sleep better when they are near mom anyway. This also allows mom more sleep since she doesn't have to wake up for night feedings... YAY!
  3. Baby sets schedule. No schedules for nursing, baby determines length and time of feeding. I think this one is pretty obvious - a lot less nursing if you only nurse every 3 hours for 20 minutes. What amazes me most is that God made it so that the most common sense, easiest, simplest way is what will space your babies apart. You don't need a book to tell you when the next feeding will be. I LOVE simplicity and not having to think and, postponed fertility = BONUS! :)
  4. No solids before 6 months. And slowly introduce them after that. I've read that the gut sometimes doesn't fully close until 8 months. And no medical association recommends solids at 4-6 months anymore for breastfed babies, they all say 6 months. And the total intake remains the same, so if they eat 1 oz of food, that is replacing 1 oz of breastmilk. Solids should only be for fun for the first year - you don't need to feed your baby 3 meals a day of solids.
  5. no separation/delaying feedings. I understand sometimes moms have to work, and unless they have a situation where they can bring their baby with them - this wouldn't work. It really is easy to bring baby with you wherever you're going though, throw them in a sling/baby carrier and you're good to go!
  6. Nap. Taking a daily nap with your baby. The book "Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing" says this could be a big factor in whether or not you experience delayed fertility. I think it says a nap of about 30 minutes. Honestly, I hate this one. I hardly ever took a nap with Faith, but I still held her and sat on the couch with the laptop for the majority of her naps until she was almost 1. I felt completely rested because I would sleep 10 solid hours every night :). Anyway, if you want more info on why napping affects you, you can buy the book used for pretty cheap, she goes into a lot of detail on how important the nap is for some women, but I'm a rebel ;-) haha. Also, the other areas I listed were just common sense for us, we were doing it anyway before I knew it would delay fertility, maybe this one would be easier if we lived in a culture where "siestas" are the norm. I can definitely see this one being difficult if you have a lot of kids already.
  7. Comfort Nurse. Nutrition is only part of nursing - comfort is such a huge part, letting your baby continue to suckle after its asleep, allowing them to nurse when they are upset but not necessarily hungry, nursing to sleep, nursing in the middle of the night (this is also for nutrition for most babies for a long long time). In essence - the dreaded "human pacifier". *gasp* could there be anything worse?! (sense the sarcasm?)
Now, I need to say that there is a small percentage that will get there cycles back before 6 months no matter what. There are also women who get such a long break that they have to completely wean to get pregnant. But average is 14 months - I got 17 months (probably due to the amount Faith nurses at night and her not eating much food) and it took another 6 months after that due to my luteal phase issues (which also could have been attributed to breastfeeding). One of my friends was concerned and thought something was wrong with me since I hadn't gotten my period back, but we weren't meant to have years and years of periods - its only recent generations where that has been the norm, since women have stopped having large families. My sister's doctor even told her that its not good for your body to have so many periods (though that was to convince her to take birth control pills for health issues since they will eventually stop/slow your periods. I'm pretty sure its better to have years of periods than to take chemicals & hormones for years to stop them lol).

I also think its quite funny that the opponents to mothering this way, call their way "God's Way". Really? Why? God wanted us to use clocks and schedules and separate sleeping rooms and be afraid of holding our babies too much? hmm it doesn't say that in the Bible, so should we not assume whatever is most natural is how God designed it to work best? and funny that it works out that way too (in regards to fertility, milk production, infant growth, attachment, etc). I just can't imagine Mary saying "well, baby Jesus, its not yet 6 according to the sun dial. Its still your naptime, no milkies for you.". I don't know... just doesn't sound like her to me. Or can you imagine Jesus not wanting to spoil the children by holding them too much? Why do we use the phrase "spoiling/spoiled" for children anyway?? Food spoils when its left alone, forgotten, and untouched. :(

1 comment:

Tonya said...

AMEN. We also have to remember that Mary didn't have cribs, car seats, swings, strollers, etc. She CARRIED her baby. If only "God's way" wasn't so "American".

That book gets me angry every single time I even hear anything AT ALL about it. ANGRY. I've felt that same way for 13 years.

Oh, and during Jesus' time, the normal weaning age was 4. That might be God's way, you think?