We are on "Vacation" right now... whatever that means after you have a child. It is SO exhausting chasing a one year old around a non-baby proof house. There are 7 other people here and they of course offer to follow her around, but you know, they get distracted or something and next thing you know she is putting a whole grape in her mouth or trying to climb up the stairs in the blink of an eye. Not to mention- I HATE old houses that have no carpeting and creaky floors. Seriously, could the sound travel any better? If people are talking downstairs it sounds like they are right out in the hall. Needless to say- Faith is having a hard time napping/falling asleep and I'm having a hard time not being mad at everything. hmmmm 11 more days. I am looking forward to seeing some of Mike's family that we haven't seen in 3 years and his parents live in the town where we met, so its fun being back here and going back to all the places we would hang out at. Its the cutest little town ever, with a ton of family owned businesses and row houses. ahhh, adorable. And we are going to NYC tomorrow-Sunday so that will be fun and hopefully not too hot. I'm not even going to bring the stroller because subway = not handicap accessible.. meaning lots of stairs. And its crowded! (we have been using the stroller more because it is HOT to have a baby on your back in the summer)
And... everyone and there dog is pregnant and I'm not and I wish I was but I'm not even fertile yet (no signs of it at least). My heart aches every time I see a newborn... so I just try to remind myself how many people struggle with true infertility (not breastfeeding induced infertility lol). I guess I'm just freaked out now that I will never be able to get pregnant while breastfeeding and Faith will be 4 by the time we have another baby. lol. Yet just a few months ago I was freaked out I would get pregnant too soon. I SO do not trust God... :( its always something I'm worried about. Not even worried, I just WANT! Maybe if Faith is a little older though, I'll be able to tandem nurse and she won't wean during my pregnancy! fun! God knows what He's doing.... my body knows what its doing. words to remember. I have been having a ton of dreams lately like when I was pregnant. hmmm
sorry to be such a complainer...
2 comments:
lol! Maybe you ARE pregnant-lol! It sounds like there is a lot going on in your mind and heart right now. Good stuff though, endurance and patience growth.
I was the SAME way with my 1st baby while traveling or having a day where the 'schedule' of baby is off, and YES-lots of hard work to take care of a baby at someone else's home....you're right, you're the only one that's ready to fully watch for all the dangers right now since everyone else is not 'baby tuned' yet...hopefully as the days go on...everyone starts picking up on the choking hazards/stairs, etc...and allow you to just move all the breakables UP...don't worry though...the best part IS learning to TRUST GOD with all....I love how when our 'hands' are taken out of the picture, He can finally show you how well your precious baby WILL be taken care of throughout it all....oh! And BTW-I got pregnant with baby #2 and baby #3 while nursing full time :D...My 1st was 11mon when I found out I was pregnant with #2, and my 2nd was 9mon when I was pregnant w/baby 3....baby #3 is 9months now....no pregnancy, but we're taking a breather...it'll happen sooner than you know! And YES, I continued nursing all until I was in my 2nd trimester w/the next, then weaned them. Get ready! ;D
Now that we have kids, I don't call them vacations, I call them trips. I feel your pain - all that you are describing! Wish I had comforting words. :-) When Abigail was 9 months old, we went to my parents for Christmas. My Mom was watching her for a few minutes and Abigail fell down the stairs. Yeah. Fun. She looked away for "just a second".
I wouldn't get too worked up over not being pregnant yet. I always got pregnant 20 months postpartum. Seemed like my body was just ready then. And I was pregnant after EVERY baby 20 months postpartum. Except this one! And I'm SO happy for that! :-) I was nursing all but one of the times I got pregnant. Now, I did miscarry twice. After the first miscarriage, it took 6 months to get pregnant (still nursing) and that seemed like FOREVER.
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